10.07 a date, a lie, a last.

10.07 i hate that I remember this date.

i hate that I yearn for you more than anything.

i left- just for a moment- to change.

to start a business, to retire you and your family, to start our own.

to look good, to be deserving to stand next to your beauty.

to learn to be a man, to be the person you needed, the person i needed.

you never met this version of me, this me who could make you happy, us happy, your family happy. we could have had it all. with your family and our family.

i keep my promises. i keep my words.

you can be cold to me.

you can be cruel.

you can act like i never existed, but

i will always answer your family's calls

but yours- i will not.

i have blocked you-

please me don't ask anything of me

you have made your choice.

you may choose to not believe, but i do.

i choose to be a hopeless romantic,

i choose to still yearn for the love of my life.

--

i lied.

you are not the love of my life,

that was a lie.

i apologize for my lie.

you were the love that brought me life

one that made me feel alive.

but clearly to say you were the love of my life would be wrong

because you're not in it anymore

who am i to say that i could bend the fragments of the universe in my favor

to speak things into existence

you're a love that is so great

that may linger in my mind

and feel like you can never get that far

but you are not the love of my life

but you are a love that changed my life

maybe that's why we met early,

because we won't grow old together

even if we can't be together in the end,

i'm glad you were a part of my life.

continue your story without me, because my chapter ends here.

happy birthday.

i wish you the happiness you always wanted.

you deserve the world ellen.